Bittersweet...

Tim and I have been talking about resigning from our volunteer roles at Wellington SPCA for several months now. With thesis submission looming just five months away we recently submitted our resignation letters and arrived to work our last shifts this past Monday. For me the shift was surreal and anticlimactic. The staff had a special training session and so I wasn't able to assist with incoming animals as per usual. Instead, I roamed from room to room feeding, watering and cleaning cages. I syringe fed a cat that had suffered some kind of injury and then did something completely new: I hand fed a puppy who was staying in the hospital for observation and treatment. She was some sort of pit bull mix and this sweet pup was shy of human contact and cowered away from me when I opened her crate. Since I'd never hand fed a dog or puppy I wasn't sure what to expect, especially with this particular animal who was wary of people in general. Taking a deep breath I scooped a small handful of the wet/dry puppy food mixture and slowly brought it closer and closer to the pup. She was sitting in her puppy bed, as far from the front of the crate as possible, fighting the urge to even look at me. But perhaps she was hungry and couldn't resist the smell of the food. So we began the slow process of her slurping up the food in my proffered hand. Then we'd do another handful. Then another. And another. Until she had eaten almost all of it. I was thinking, "Yes! Success!". It was then I realized that I should take her out for a little walk to get her moving around and allow her to go to the bathroom. I wondered how this would go over since I'd have to handle her by the collar to attach the leash and then get her out of the crate. Thankfully, we were able to do this without incident but she was still very wary of me. As soon as I had the leash secured I stood up and hoped I wouldn't need to carry her outside. To my great relief she hopped from the crate and we took a stroll around outside. I have to say she was such a sweet pup and just needed a careful, slow hand. I'm confident she will flourish under the care of the hospital staff. Sadly, since it was my last shift I won't be able to keep track of her progress.

It's difficult to describe how amazing our SPCA volunteering has been over the past year and a half. Each week we faced new challenges but the work was filled with joy. Working with animals is incredibly therapeutic and I'm so glad we had this distraction through some of the most challenging portions of our study. And so it breaks my heart to take our leave but the time has come to cut down our commitments as we make strides toward the end of our respective programs.

If you want to see and read more about Wellington SPCA follow this link to their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/wellingtonspca . Love!

Ethics.....

Two years ago I signed on as the Postgraduate Student Representative to the Animal Ethics Committee at Victoria. The work has been incredibly rewarding and has shed light on a career path that I want to pursue: animal welfare. Working at the SPCA, collecting data for Wellington Zoo, as well as my PhD study has contributed to this realization. 

As the postgrad student rep I found myself thinking about the students who work in the animal laboratories at Victoria. I also reflected on my own experience working with animals in the laboratory and realized that I had always wanted more of a foundation and more training when it came to animal ethics and animal welfare. And from this line of thought came the idea for an ethics training module for students. I proposed the idea to the larger Animal Ethics Committee, a subcommittee was formed with me as Chair and we were away. Last year we spent time putting together the content of the course and then refined it through feedback from various sources. For example, when the content was largely complete we held a "beta testing" session with some researchers and their students. After that we incorporated some additional material and the Committee deemed the course ready to be rolled out for real. The first session was held this afternoon; I ran the course and was pleased to have 40+ students attending. Because I firmly believe in preparing for presentations, and because I had given this one previously when in beta, I was able to run a fairly fluid course that was well received by the group. At the end of the session all the students had to see me to sign off on their participation; it was a great opportunity to chat with each student and without fail I received compliments about the content, the discussion points and my delivery. I only mention this because some of the rosiest comments came from students who spent the entire session sitting with smirks on their faces and arms crossed. I would never have guessed that they gained anything from attending the session. Teaching never fails to show you interesting things like this. I'm absolultey smitten with it. :)

We won't run another session until next term (July) but having this first one under my belt has imbued me with confidence. I'm very proud of this venture and truly believe that it is something useful for students as they grow and develop as scientists. 

Fifty......

Tomorrow is the last day of the month: the deadline for 50 mile February. Full disclosure here. I never imagined this to be achieveable for four reasons. One, I am not a runner. Two, I am not fit. Three, we had a week away from Wellington, something that is sure to throw off any kind of workout routine. And four, 50 miles is a lonnnnggggg way to run in a regular month let alone February in a non leap year. Right. Complete nonsense. For all these reasons as well as the continual self doubt and worry this challenge was pretty much doomed from the very beginning.

And yet it is with incredible pride, shock and awe to share with you that I ran the final three miles today. Yes. Yes? YES!!!!

Starting off wasn't so bad, running slowly, dealing with the ensuing aches and pains. Enthusiasm was high but after three consecutive runs (the first three) doubt began to creep in making me wonder if this was a fool's errand. Then we set off for a week in Nelson. I ran outisde a couple times which was a huge accomplishment in and of itself. A whole new challenge chalk full of uneven terrain, varying pace, having to start and stop to cross streets and run up and down hills. But then after a few days I found myself busy with other activities and took full advantage but that was a mistake. At least for this challenge. It put me behind my pace to finish on time. Failbook!

Arriving back in Wellington I started going to the gym again; during one stint I ran SIX consecutive days. Brutal is an understatement. The last couple runs I fueled with Red Bull to give myself a little extra boost. Killer. After that I had one day off and then began the final push until the end. I carefully calculated my remaining distance each day to remind myself that skipping workouts was not an option if I wanted to succeed in this challenge. But please understand that all I wanted to do was quit. I cannot tell you what possessed me to keep going.

This week I needed to run five more times to hit the 50 mile mark. So after collecting data in the mornings I would make myself go running to ensure that I did it and wasn't getting too tired by the end of the day. With Tim's encouragement I decided to push it at the end and instead of running tomorrow (the last day of the month) I would do my final run today. It might have been the most difficult to date. Today in particular had been a wild day. This morning I completed another group for my current experiment and then ran around setting up the next one that will run next week. By the time I was catching my breath it was time to grab lunch. I took half a sandwich back to my desk and starting look over the material for a training course I was teaching in the afternoon. And before I knew it I was once again standing at the front of a classroom teaching a group of students about the ethical issues surrounding the use of animals in research. It was a fantastic session but I didn't get back to the office until after 5pm. The last thing I wanted to do was go running. Somehow I decided to ignore my own interal voice that was whining about going home. I donned my workout gear and made my way over to the gym. I was already exhausted before stepping on the treadmill from the day's activities and excitement that comes with teaching. I made myself focus on the songs coming across my Pandora feed and then it happened. I had set the treadmill to stop after 5km (3 miles) and covered the display with my sweatshirt. In mid stride it began to slow my pace to tell me that I had done the unthinkable, the unimagineable. I had exceeded 50 miles, 80 km, a distance just shy of two marathons. How can I convey that magnitude of this accomplishment?

What have I learned from this experience? Mostly, that I feel so much better when I exercise. My total life outlook has been transformed and I believe this challenge has been an integral part of that. Also, I've realized that I need to adjust the way I think about my capabilities. I've always had serious doubts about what I can do but now I can see that I need to stop assuming there are things I simply cannnot do. I would've said this about running 50 miles not so long ago. I was so incredibly, hilariously, wrong about this. I've never been so pleased about being wrong. :)

Harper....

So now we're down to just five months before thesis submission. We are immersing ourselves in our remaining work and vacillating between panic, apathy and feeling like it's all possible. Right. A veritable rollercoaster. I've mentioned before that I can actually see the end. I know precisely what work remains: lab work, analysis, publications and the dissertation. It's like emerging from a fog and being able to see everything around you more clearly. I'm just now realizing that the PhD will end. It will. When you're in the midst of the process it becomes all consuming and you lose your grasp on what is real. Well, the thesis is real. The experiment you're running is real. But beyond the project there exists nothing. Needless to say it's a welcome perspective to see that life exists outside PhD study. Specifically, my PhD study.

On a very different note you may have read that Harper Lee is going to release her second novel: Go Set A Wawtchman. She wrote the bulk of the novel before To Kill a Mockingbird. And now it will be published for the masses. To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book of all time and I've just picked it up again. Absolutely brilliant. As you might expect I'm very anxious to read this second book; it will be released on July 14, 2015. I just confirmed that on amazon and wondered, "What will I be doing on July 14? Panicking? Sleeping in because I've submitted my thesis the day before?". At this point it's anyone's guess. Here's to hoping that I'll be in a good place!

Stroll.....

After the conference had concluded I met Timmy and we strolled around town, working our way up to the beach. Tim wanted to see the ocean - he was surprised to find the water incredibly warm. That's Nelson for you! We sat down and watched the water for a half an hour before heading back to the hotel to pick up our bag. Then we were jet-setting, just 25 minutes, to Wellington.

Agapanthus.....

I knew I wasn't crazy. On the way into Nelson from the airport I could've sworn that I saw some pink agapanthus. I was sure. But as the week wore on I saw agapanthus everywhere in Nelson but only in purple or white. These are by far the most common colors and I figured they might be the only ones. Then, as I was trekking back into town from the WoW Muesum, I saw them. Pink agapanthus growing by the road. What beauties!

WoW 3......

With cars dancing in my head I backtracked and took a breath before stepping into the WoW gallery. I expected it to be overwhelming - the costumes are known for being beyond over the top- and it was! In the anteroom I found just five costumes but could've spent an hour marvelling at their construction, attention to detail and eery mystique. One featured what could only be described as an infinity scarf made from leaves, berries and twigs. Simply exquisite. Another was all zip ties, a full dress and headpiece. It was then I realized that I was gaping as I examined each costume.

I then stepped into the gallery proper where I was greeted by several stationary costumes set up off the ground. One was made of balloons. None were inflated but rather layered to give a patchwork effect with elaborate bodice and neckline decoration.

From there I turned around and saw a stage stretching across one long wall. On it there was one stationary costume made entirely of metal plating.

Next to her stood five costumes spinning on the biggest lazy susan I've ever seen. They rotated not only around the circle but each around its own center axis giving you an incredible view of the costumes from every angle.

In addition, there was a conveyor belt system mounted on the ceiling that suspended costumes and fed them around in a huge continuous loop at the front of the stage giving the observer an in depth look at the costumes that would be lost if they were displayed in a stationary position. I spent near an hour just watching the costumes rotate around the stage and attempted to take photos. With my phone and the low light of the gallery I captured very few decent snaps. With that said I'm still including these because I want to try and give you an idea of what it was like.

Laslty, there was a separate room illuminated by black light, featuring beautiful glowing costumes. I had to laugh that I was able to take better photos in this very dim room compared to the larger gallery!

Simply stunning! The photos completely FAIL to capture how incredible these costumes are!!

WoW 2.....

Then there was a decision to make: what to do first? Classic cars or WoW costumes? I decided to go with the cars first and save the WoW for last. So stepping through the right fork in the hallway I was immersed in not just classic cars but cars of all kinds. Beyond this showroom I found another warehouse sized room filled with even more cars! I was thinking, "They must have every classic car in all of NZ!".

WoW 1.....

After several days of total bliss we arrived at the conclusion of the conference. That morning I saw Timmy off and then packed up our stuff and checked out of our room at 10am. He had conference activities until the middle of the afternoon so I decided to take myself to the World of Wearable Art Museum (WoW). On a whim I splurged and took a taxi out, over three miles from town, and would then walk back. The ladies at the front desk were kind enough to call for me and soon I was whisked away to WoW.

I paid my "student" admission and turned to survey the lobby and adjacent cafe. The lobby, with windows on all sides, was filled with artwork from local artists. I was tempted to purchase more than one thing there. :)

Part way through the lobby I decided to pop into the restroom where I was greeted by the loudest mirror I've ever seen. Only at WoW.

From there I worked my way towards to proper exhibit halls taking in more local artwork.