Book love......

The completion of my first book (thesis) calls for celebration: books, books and more books to read. Happy as a clam!

Go Set a Watchmen. The much anticipated second novel by Harper Lee. It received widely mixed reviews and some scathing criticism but I was just happy to read something else from the author of my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird.

Letters to a Young Scientist. A great perspective piece by E.O. Wilson. And all the more enjoyable as I finished it just after thesis submission. :)

The Fault in Our Stars. Just because light fiction is fun to read!

198....

With heaps of hubbub these last couple weeks I'm just getting around to this post. When I started my PhD over three years ago I knew this day would come. Or at least people said that it would. However, many times throughout the process I feared the worst. That I would never submit my thesis. Apparently, this is a common fear among PhD students. Well I was no exception. So with that wandering preamble out of the way I am pleased, no thrilled, no ecstatic, to tell you that as of 28 September, I, Bridget Williams Brox, have submitted my PhD thesis for examination!!! There aren't enough exclamations in this world to really capture the excitement of this reality.

Let me take you back to the beginning for a moment. We first set foot in NZ in early 2012 and I was petrified. Not only were we about to start a new chapter in a foreign country but my first application to the Psychology PhD program had been rejected. Upon receiving this news we were already committed to moving and with fresh, matching passports and visas we jet set to NZ. Arriving was a flurry of newness, stress, anxiety and continual feeling of being outside any comfort zone that existed previously. I met with the folks who would become my PhD supervisors and organised a second application to the PhD program. Tim started work immediately and together we outfitted our tiny home. While I waited to hear about my application I started work as a tutor (teaching assistant) to gain a bit of income. I worried incessantly. I continually felt out of place. I wondered if I would ever feel normal again. If I would ever be caught up in regular day to day things like everyone else. And more than anything else I obsessed about getting into the PhD program. I seriously worried that I wouldn't be accepted. But even more so I worried that I would be. I don't remember every detail of that time but I can tell you that I was petrified about everything in the program. It was an opportunity to study something completely new and that meant starting at square one regarding technical skills as well as my understanding of the overall topic and associated literature. I seriously considered not taking the offer if I did get into the program. This all sounds crazy now but that's where I was at the time.

Then my acceptance letter arrived and somehow I decided to take the plunge. The flurry of paperwork had me running around campus to capture signatures and turn in forms. I was doing this when I was told, "Oh, right, you don't have a student visa? Well, you need one before you can get started". I thought I had regained some of my composure and everything was moving in the right direction when this happened. I panicked. To my great relief the visa officer talked me down, I applied for a student visa and by some miracle had that sticker in my passport within a week. I returned to the Faculty of Graduate Research, shiny student visa in hand. But I had to wait as another student was talking to the person behind the counter. She had a file box of papers and was holding them close to her chest, almost like she didn't want to let them go. Then she said, "I've worked on this for so long, it's hard to hand it over now". Despite my own personal drama I realized that she was submitting her thesis. I thought to myself, "Wow. I CANNOT imagine that actually happening for me". Remember at this point I was embarking on a journey where nothing seemed sure.

It was with all this in mind that I, bound thesis copies and accompanying paperwork in hand, walked through the doors at the Faculty of Graduate Research to submit my thesis. I could scarcely believe that I was uttering the words, "I'm here to submit a PhD thesis". The day had FINALLY come! And then I completed the most anticlimactic process of my life. My three soft bound copies were whisked away to be sent to my examiners. My electronic copy was transferred to their computer. We double checked all the forms and signatures. I was required to sign the "these ledger" where all students provide their name, school, thesis title and signature. I was given a few pieces of outgoing paperwork and then found myself exiting the office. What? What? That was it? It was only as the hours and subsequent days passed that realization started to sink in - I had finished my first book. 198 pages.

Book love....

Mutants: On Genetic Variety and the Human Body. Simply brilliant - a very readable account of the origins of genetic diversity. If you like historical medicine this one is for you.

Five big ones....

Yesterday Tim and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Yeah. Five years. It's hard to believe that much time has passed. I know I've said it in the past but I never imagined that I would marry and here we are five years later. :) That's a big smiley face!

If you had told me ten years ago that I would marry, move to NZ and complete my PhD I'd probably would've had some inappropriate outburst that a social norm filter would normally repress. I love that reality can be stranger (and more wonderful) than anything we could imagine. But this post isn't really about the five years past. It's about food. Food.

Every year Wellington restaurants pull out all the stops and put on a city-wide event called Wellington on a Plate (WOAP). And this is the first year that we've been able to partake. So a couple days ago we sat down and perused the long list of  WOAP participating restaurants and starting narrowing things down. Now some of this was easy when you've embraced a vegetarian lifestyle and some places only offer meaty portions. At one point we had twenty tabs open on the laptop. With some counterbalancing as only science nerds will do we narrowed the list down to ten contenders. Then with random pairings we narrowed it to six. Then three. And finally we picked a winner! To our surprise it was Southern Cross, a restaurant just two blocks from our house. Now you have to understand that Southern Cross isn't particularly fancy; they embrace an eclectic, bordering on chic, look with mismatched dining tables and chairs and a garden bar out the back. Since we moved to Wellington we've enjoyed going there and decided to do WOAP at Southern Cross for our fifth.

Upon arrival we were whisked to a cute corner table in the front window and I was thanking myself for making a reservation. The waitress arrived and described the WOAP protocol; three courses with an entree, a main and a dessert served with a regional bevvie. We both ordered the Urlar Sauvignon Blanc 2013 made right up the road in NZ wine country, Wairarapa.

Next came the entree and since both were vegetarian we decided to each order one and share around. The first was a delightful think tomato soup that was topped with pillowy soft pieces of smoked brinza. Everyone knows that tomato cheese pairs well but this was amazing!

The second entree was a Parkvale portobello mushroom burger. This came out and I realized that the chef was going with a very literal interpretation because the portobellos comprised what would have been the bun of a traditional burger. Sandwiched between the mushrooms was a light almond hummus and finely sliced beetroot. Now when we read the description on the menu it sounded good but the combination of flavors was spot on - admittedly I would've had seconds it that were allowed. :)

Feeling rather content we sipped our Sauv while the entree dishes and cutlery were cleared away. With the main on its way we were both sufficiently curious. The menu read, "Raw beetroot ravioli" and while we enjoy beetroot with the best of them you wonder, "What does that mean, exactly?". 

Soon after we were presented with the main and tucked in straightaway. On a bed of spinach and clouds of butter lettuce we found the ravioli. They were made from two thin slices of beetroot surrounding a scrumptious filling made of salty feta. On their own they were delicious but the course came full circle when you tried the accompanying pistachio and sweet potato croquettes. The course, in a word, was a stunner! Two thumbs way up. 

Lastly, we ordered both dessert options so we could try everything. The first was a poached pear with Carello del Gelato vanilla bean ice cream. Simply elegant. The second dessert was truly different: a Whittaker's Dark Chocolate cheesecake stuffed apple accompanied by Carrello del Gelato banoffee ice cream. I've never really considered chocolate and apple together but they were amazing!

Pushing back from the table we declared that WOAP has a sure winner at Southern Cross. :) I'm hoping I could convey some of the experience here.

Book love (catch up).....

Talk about a mix bag - all three were simply wonderful. :)

Complications. 

The Rosie Project.

Ender in Exile. 

Dark side.....

I must apologize. I haven't posted in months. In the past I've had the expected ebb and flow of blog posts however these last few months have been utterly and completely overwhelmed with work. I remember writing about being busy running experiments for months on end; those times were crazy however they pale in comparison to what I've experienced lately.

In short I completed the last of my behavioral experiments then spent weeks living in one of the biology labs on campus processing tissue. After that I finished collecting data at Wellington Zoo project. The following day Tim and I flew to the US where he spent a month working in the NMR lab at MSU and I holed up and spent my days writing. It was an incredibly productive time and upon arriving back in NZ I had serious drafts of all my chapters in the works.

Then it happened. Months earlier I had submitted two abstracts for presentations at the Australia and New Zealand Council for the Care of Animals in Research and Teaching (ANZCCART) conference. One outlined the training program we've developed at Vic and the other my small cats zoo project. After submitting them I heard back straightaway about the ethics training program and was given a presentation slot - great! After that I didn't hear back about the second abstract and assumed that it had not been accepted. The week before we left the US I emailed the conference organizers just to be sure. Apparently, an email had been lost along the way and the second abstract had been accepted but because they couldn't get in touch with me I didn't realize this until less than two weeks before the conference. They were relieved to hear from me but worried that I wouldn't have enough time to prepare. As insanity would have it I assured them that I would make it happen. So the week we arrived back in NZ I spent the majority of my time preparing the two presentations as well as the accompanying papers that the conference requires of the presenters. I was also scrambling to arrange a time to give my presentation of the small cats data to a group at the zoo. Thankfully we were able to squeeze this in - I'm a firm believer in practicing presentations and getting feedback before you give them for real. A veritable whirlwind of activity and unfortunately that left no time for the thesis. Talk about serious guilt. The conference started the following week and I was on a plane to Gold Coast, Australia, before I knew it. Both talks went very well and generated a great deal of discussion throughout the week. After each one I had people lining up to talk to me - I took that as a good sign. :) I'm very glad that I decided to go but as you can imagine it didn't leave much time for thesis writing during that week either. Sigh. More guilt.

After returning to NZ I had just one week until the end of July: my arbitrary deadline for thesis submission. As you might expect that was not going to happen. And it didn't.

Now we're two weeks into August and I am creeping ever closer to submitting this book. It's the first one I've written and currently is numbering 150 pages. Of my five chapters I've finished three of them. The fourth chapter and the General Discussion are both well on their way. So thesis submission will happen sometime in August and I can't tell you how amazing it is to consider this. After all this time, work, blood, sweat and tears - it is actually going to happen! More to come. 

Book love....

Clash of Kings. After an epic and all consuming run of molecular analysis my PhD lab work has come to an end! And so has this book. Another gigantic tome: just shy of 1000 pages. Now onto Storm of Swords. :)

Book love.....

To Kill a Mockingbird. Simply brilliant - Harper Lee delivers wit and sarcasm with perfect precision. This one remains my all-time favorite.

Ugly....

Upon returning from my DC trip Tim gifted me a "keep cup" to use when getting coffee on and off campus. He spied this particular one at one of the coffee shops at Victoria, liked to color combination and decided to snap it up for me. Then he gave me the option: I could have this one or I could pick out another one and he'd take the original cup. After persuing the Keep Cup website and trying a wide variety of color combinations I still hadn't found the perfect one. Then we were standing in line to get coffee when I saw an aqua colored cup with a pink band. I knew it was the one and so decided to purchase it. It's a slightly random color combination but one that still works.

One day Tim and I got our coffees in the Keep Cups and met up with Tim's supervisor, Petrik, for lunch. As a group we were talking about the color combinations and how the baristas, without fail, never put the right lid on the corresponding cup resulting in truly hideous color mixtures. I laughed and said, "They look like uglies...." to which Petrik immediately said, "No, no, it's not ugly!". I then went on to explain the reference.

In NZ there exists a sportswear brand called Canterbury; they made their start with rugby jerseys but have since expanded to offer track pants, t-shirts, sweatshirts and even socks. By the 1970s the worldwide demand for rugby jerseys was keeping Canterbury busy. But then they were swimming in left over bits and pieces of fabric - what would they do with them? This is where "the Uglies" were born. Taking random pieces (arms, hems and collars) Canterbury starting putting together what they would market as a "practice" jersey. This simple idea resulted in a complete "uglies" line of clothing that is still sold today. It has become an iconic piece of Kiwi culture.

So does my Keep Cup qualify for "ugly" status? I think yes. :)

Traditional.....

Last week Tim and I were having lunch with Tim's supervisor, Petrik, and two colleagues from the School of Chemical and Physical Sciences. Petrik made the introductions and after saying, "This is Tim and Bridget" he went on to say, "and they're married". Now we've had all sorts of different reactions when this fact is brought to light. Some people are surprised, for reasons I fail to understand. But the response that came next surprised me. It was: "Well, that's refreshingly traditional!". We all laughed but it got me thinking. Since moving to New Zealand I've noticed that many people are quick to talk about their significant other as their "partner". Additionally, many couples we have met are not married. So I guess it comes as a surprise when a relatively young couple is actually married. Very unhip, but that doesn't bother us. We are happy to be together but we've always felt that way even before we were official. :)

Book love....

Game of Thrones. This book, and its three successors, has been sitting on the shelf since we returned from the US over two years ago. Fail. Now I'm jumping in and it's no surprise this was, in itself, a tour de force. Now onto the next epic tome.

Bittersweet...

Tim and I have been talking about resigning from our volunteer roles at Wellington SPCA for several months now. With thesis submission looming just five months away we recently submitted our resignation letters and arrived to work our last shifts this past Monday. For me the shift was surreal and anticlimactic. The staff had a special training session and so I wasn't able to assist with incoming animals as per usual. Instead, I roamed from room to room feeding, watering and cleaning cages. I syringe fed a cat that had suffered some kind of injury and then did something completely new: I hand fed a puppy who was staying in the hospital for observation and treatment. She was some sort of pit bull mix and this sweet pup was shy of human contact and cowered away from me when I opened her crate. Since I'd never hand fed a dog or puppy I wasn't sure what to expect, especially with this particular animal who was wary of people in general. Taking a deep breath I scooped a small handful of the wet/dry puppy food mixture and slowly brought it closer and closer to the pup. She was sitting in her puppy bed, as far from the front of the crate as possible, fighting the urge to even look at me. But perhaps she was hungry and couldn't resist the smell of the food. So we began the slow process of her slurping up the food in my proffered hand. Then we'd do another handful. Then another. And another. Until she had eaten almost all of it. I was thinking, "Yes! Success!". It was then I realized that I should take her out for a little walk to get her moving around and allow her to go to the bathroom. I wondered how this would go over since I'd have to handle her by the collar to attach the leash and then get her out of the crate. Thankfully, we were able to do this without incident but she was still very wary of me. As soon as I had the leash secured I stood up and hoped I wouldn't need to carry her outside. To my great relief she hopped from the crate and we took a stroll around outside. I have to say she was such a sweet pup and just needed a careful, slow hand. I'm confident she will flourish under the care of the hospital staff. Sadly, since it was my last shift I won't be able to keep track of her progress.

It's difficult to describe how amazing our SPCA volunteering has been over the past year and a half. Each week we faced new challenges but the work was filled with joy. Working with animals is incredibly therapeutic and I'm so glad we had this distraction through some of the most challenging portions of our study. And so it breaks my heart to take our leave but the time has come to cut down our commitments as we make strides toward the end of our respective programs.

If you want to see and read more about Wellington SPCA follow this link to their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/wellingtonspca . Love!

Ethics.....

Two years ago I signed on as the Postgraduate Student Representative to the Animal Ethics Committee at Victoria. The work has been incredibly rewarding and has shed light on a career path that I want to pursue: animal welfare. Working at the SPCA, collecting data for Wellington Zoo, as well as my PhD study has contributed to this realization. 

As the postgrad student rep I found myself thinking about the students who work in the animal laboratories at Victoria. I also reflected on my own experience working with animals in the laboratory and realized that I had always wanted more of a foundation and more training when it came to animal ethics and animal welfare. And from this line of thought came the idea for an ethics training module for students. I proposed the idea to the larger Animal Ethics Committee, a subcommittee was formed with me as Chair and we were away. Last year we spent time putting together the content of the course and then refined it through feedback from various sources. For example, when the content was largely complete we held a "beta testing" session with some researchers and their students. After that we incorporated some additional material and the Committee deemed the course ready to be rolled out for real. The first session was held this afternoon; I ran the course and was pleased to have 40+ students attending. Because I firmly believe in preparing for presentations, and because I had given this one previously when in beta, I was able to run a fairly fluid course that was well received by the group. At the end of the session all the students had to see me to sign off on their participation; it was a great opportunity to chat with each student and without fail I received compliments about the content, the discussion points and my delivery. I only mention this because some of the rosiest comments came from students who spent the entire session sitting with smirks on their faces and arms crossed. I would never have guessed that they gained anything from attending the session. Teaching never fails to show you interesting things like this. I'm absolultey smitten with it. :)

We won't run another session until next term (July) but having this first one under my belt has imbued me with confidence. I'm very proud of this venture and truly believe that it is something useful for students as they grow and develop as scientists. 

Fifty......

Tomorrow is the last day of the month: the deadline for 50 mile February. Full disclosure here. I never imagined this to be achieveable for four reasons. One, I am not a runner. Two, I am not fit. Three, we had a week away from Wellington, something that is sure to throw off any kind of workout routine. And four, 50 miles is a lonnnnggggg way to run in a regular month let alone February in a non leap year. Right. Complete nonsense. For all these reasons as well as the continual self doubt and worry this challenge was pretty much doomed from the very beginning.

And yet it is with incredible pride, shock and awe to share with you that I ran the final three miles today. Yes. Yes? YES!!!!

Starting off wasn't so bad, running slowly, dealing with the ensuing aches and pains. Enthusiasm was high but after three consecutive runs (the first three) doubt began to creep in making me wonder if this was a fool's errand. Then we set off for a week in Nelson. I ran outisde a couple times which was a huge accomplishment in and of itself. A whole new challenge chalk full of uneven terrain, varying pace, having to start and stop to cross streets and run up and down hills. But then after a few days I found myself busy with other activities and took full advantage but that was a mistake. At least for this challenge. It put me behind my pace to finish on time. Failbook!

Arriving back in Wellington I started going to the gym again; during one stint I ran SIX consecutive days. Brutal is an understatement. The last couple runs I fueled with Red Bull to give myself a little extra boost. Killer. After that I had one day off and then began the final push until the end. I carefully calculated my remaining distance each day to remind myself that skipping workouts was not an option if I wanted to succeed in this challenge. But please understand that all I wanted to do was quit. I cannot tell you what possessed me to keep going.

This week I needed to run five more times to hit the 50 mile mark. So after collecting data in the mornings I would make myself go running to ensure that I did it and wasn't getting too tired by the end of the day. With Tim's encouragement I decided to push it at the end and instead of running tomorrow (the last day of the month) I would do my final run today. It might have been the most difficult to date. Today in particular had been a wild day. This morning I completed another group for my current experiment and then ran around setting up the next one that will run next week. By the time I was catching my breath it was time to grab lunch. I took half a sandwich back to my desk and starting look over the material for a training course I was teaching in the afternoon. And before I knew it I was once again standing at the front of a classroom teaching a group of students about the ethical issues surrounding the use of animals in research. It was a fantastic session but I didn't get back to the office until after 5pm. The last thing I wanted to do was go running. Somehow I decided to ignore my own interal voice that was whining about going home. I donned my workout gear and made my way over to the gym. I was already exhausted before stepping on the treadmill from the day's activities and excitement that comes with teaching. I made myself focus on the songs coming across my Pandora feed and then it happened. I had set the treadmill to stop after 5km (3 miles) and covered the display with my sweatshirt. In mid stride it began to slow my pace to tell me that I had done the unthinkable, the unimagineable. I had exceeded 50 miles, 80 km, a distance just shy of two marathons. How can I convey that magnitude of this accomplishment?

What have I learned from this experience? Mostly, that I feel so much better when I exercise. My total life outlook has been transformed and I believe this challenge has been an integral part of that. Also, I've realized that I need to adjust the way I think about my capabilities. I've always had serious doubts about what I can do but now I can see that I need to stop assuming there are things I simply cannnot do. I would've said this about running 50 miles not so long ago. I was so incredibly, hilariously, wrong about this. I've never been so pleased about being wrong. :)

Harper....

So now we're down to just five months before thesis submission. We are immersing ourselves in our remaining work and vacillating between panic, apathy and feeling like it's all possible. Right. A veritable rollercoaster. I've mentioned before that I can actually see the end. I know precisely what work remains: lab work, analysis, publications and the dissertation. It's like emerging from a fog and being able to see everything around you more clearly. I'm just now realizing that the PhD will end. It will. When you're in the midst of the process it becomes all consuming and you lose your grasp on what is real. Well, the thesis is real. The experiment you're running is real. But beyond the project there exists nothing. Needless to say it's a welcome perspective to see that life exists outside PhD study. Specifically, my PhD study.

On a very different note you may have read that Harper Lee is going to release her second novel: Go Set A Wawtchman. She wrote the bulk of the novel before To Kill a Mockingbird. And now it will be published for the masses. To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book of all time and I've just picked it up again. Absolutely brilliant. As you might expect I'm very anxious to read this second book; it will be released on July 14, 2015. I just confirmed that on amazon and wondered, "What will I be doing on July 14? Panicking? Sleeping in because I've submitted my thesis the day before?". At this point it's anyone's guess. Here's to hoping that I'll be in a good place!

Stroll.....

After the conference had concluded I met Timmy and we strolled around town, working our way up to the beach. Tim wanted to see the ocean - he was surprised to find the water incredibly warm. That's Nelson for you! We sat down and watched the water for a half an hour before heading back to the hotel to pick up our bag. Then we were jet-setting, just 25 minutes, to Wellington.

Agapanthus.....

I knew I wasn't crazy. On the way into Nelson from the airport I could've sworn that I saw some pink agapanthus. I was sure. But as the week wore on I saw agapanthus everywhere in Nelson but only in purple or white. These are by far the most common colors and I figured they might be the only ones. Then, as I was trekking back into town from the WoW Muesum, I saw them. Pink agapanthus growing by the road. What beauties!

WoW 3......

With cars dancing in my head I backtracked and took a breath before stepping into the WoW gallery. I expected it to be overwhelming - the costumes are known for being beyond over the top- and it was! In the anteroom I found just five costumes but could've spent an hour marvelling at their construction, attention to detail and eery mystique. One featured what could only be described as an infinity scarf made from leaves, berries and twigs. Simply exquisite. Another was all zip ties, a full dress and headpiece. It was then I realized that I was gaping as I examined each costume.

I then stepped into the gallery proper where I was greeted by several stationary costumes set up off the ground. One was made of balloons. None were inflated but rather layered to give a patchwork effect with elaborate bodice and neckline decoration.

From there I turned around and saw a stage stretching across one long wall. On it there was one stationary costume made entirely of metal plating.

Next to her stood five costumes spinning on the biggest lazy susan I've ever seen. They rotated not only around the circle but each around its own center axis giving you an incredible view of the costumes from every angle.

In addition, there was a conveyor belt system mounted on the ceiling that suspended costumes and fed them around in a huge continuous loop at the front of the stage giving the observer an in depth look at the costumes that would be lost if they were displayed in a stationary position. I spent near an hour just watching the costumes rotate around the stage and attempted to take photos. With my phone and the low light of the gallery I captured very few decent snaps. With that said I'm still including these because I want to try and give you an idea of what it was like.

Laslty, there was a separate room illuminated by black light, featuring beautiful glowing costumes. I had to laugh that I was able to take better photos in this very dim room compared to the larger gallery!

Simply stunning! The photos completely FAIL to capture how incredible these costumes are!!

WoW 2.....

Then there was a decision to make: what to do first? Classic cars or WoW costumes? I decided to go with the cars first and save the WoW for last. So stepping through the right fork in the hallway I was immersed in not just classic cars but cars of all kinds. Beyond this showroom I found another warehouse sized room filled with even more cars! I was thinking, "They must have every classic car in all of NZ!".

WoW 1.....

After several days of total bliss we arrived at the conclusion of the conference. That morning I saw Timmy off and then packed up our stuff and checked out of our room at 10am. He had conference activities until the middle of the afternoon so I decided to take myself to the World of Wearable Art Museum (WoW). On a whim I splurged and took a taxi out, over three miles from town, and would then walk back. The ladies at the front desk were kind enough to call for me and soon I was whisked away to WoW.

I paid my "student" admission and turned to survey the lobby and adjacent cafe. The lobby, with windows on all sides, was filled with artwork from local artists. I was tempted to purchase more than one thing there. :)

Part way through the lobby I decided to pop into the restroom where I was greeted by the loudest mirror I've ever seen. Only at WoW.

From there I worked my way towards to proper exhibit halls taking in more local artwork.