Fifty......

Tomorrow is the last day of the month: the deadline for 50 mile February. Full disclosure here. I never imagined this to be achieveable for four reasons. One, I am not a runner. Two, I am not fit. Three, we had a week away from Wellington, something that is sure to throw off any kind of workout routine. And four, 50 miles is a lonnnnggggg way to run in a regular month let alone February in a non leap year. Right. Complete nonsense. For all these reasons as well as the continual self doubt and worry this challenge was pretty much doomed from the very beginning.

And yet it is with incredible pride, shock and awe to share with you that I ran the final three miles today. Yes. Yes? YES!!!!

Starting off wasn't so bad, running slowly, dealing with the ensuing aches and pains. Enthusiasm was high but after three consecutive runs (the first three) doubt began to creep in making me wonder if this was a fool's errand. Then we set off for a week in Nelson. I ran outisde a couple times which was a huge accomplishment in and of itself. A whole new challenge chalk full of uneven terrain, varying pace, having to start and stop to cross streets and run up and down hills. But then after a few days I found myself busy with other activities and took full advantage but that was a mistake. At least for this challenge. It put me behind my pace to finish on time. Failbook!

Arriving back in Wellington I started going to the gym again; during one stint I ran SIX consecutive days. Brutal is an understatement. The last couple runs I fueled with Red Bull to give myself a little extra boost. Killer. After that I had one day off and then began the final push until the end. I carefully calculated my remaining distance each day to remind myself that skipping workouts was not an option if I wanted to succeed in this challenge. But please understand that all I wanted to do was quit. I cannot tell you what possessed me to keep going.

This week I needed to run five more times to hit the 50 mile mark. So after collecting data in the mornings I would make myself go running to ensure that I did it and wasn't getting too tired by the end of the day. With Tim's encouragement I decided to push it at the end and instead of running tomorrow (the last day of the month) I would do my final run today. It might have been the most difficult to date. Today in particular had been a wild day. This morning I completed another group for my current experiment and then ran around setting up the next one that will run next week. By the time I was catching my breath it was time to grab lunch. I took half a sandwich back to my desk and starting look over the material for a training course I was teaching in the afternoon. And before I knew it I was once again standing at the front of a classroom teaching a group of students about the ethical issues surrounding the use of animals in research. It was a fantastic session but I didn't get back to the office until after 5pm. The last thing I wanted to do was go running. Somehow I decided to ignore my own interal voice that was whining about going home. I donned my workout gear and made my way over to the gym. I was already exhausted before stepping on the treadmill from the day's activities and excitement that comes with teaching. I made myself focus on the songs coming across my Pandora feed and then it happened. I had set the treadmill to stop after 5km (3 miles) and covered the display with my sweatshirt. In mid stride it began to slow my pace to tell me that I had done the unthinkable, the unimagineable. I had exceeded 50 miles, 80 km, a distance just shy of two marathons. How can I convey that magnitude of this accomplishment?

What have I learned from this experience? Mostly, that I feel so much better when I exercise. My total life outlook has been transformed and I believe this challenge has been an integral part of that. Also, I've realized that I need to adjust the way I think about my capabilities. I've always had serious doubts about what I can do but now I can see that I need to stop assuming there are things I simply cannnot do. I would've said this about running 50 miles not so long ago. I was so incredibly, hilariously, wrong about this. I've never been so pleased about being wrong. :)